


An Extensive Guide to Slime People for Human Ranchers

by MelodramaticMrTails



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Multi, Slime Rancher AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 16:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6617746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodramaticMrTails/pseuds/MelodramaticMrTails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan moves out to an isolated slime island to start his own ranch in order to get away from his life and the people in it. He never expected to be joined by several incredibly shy, incredibly rare slime people. Perhaps being alone wasn't ideal after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Extensive Guide to Slime People for Human Ranchers

**Author's Note:**

> the ship for this was literally too big for ao3 to handle but please note, ryan really is part of this eight person hump fest

I.

It happens one day while Ryan is out too late. There aren't many dangers in his area aside from the occasional Tarr slime and some hungry feral slimes so there's not much danger in being out past sundown, either. He simply tends not to do it because it's so dark and hard to tread. It's easy for wild largos to eat a plort in the dark and suddenly there’s a Tarr infestation and Ryan's stuck in the middle of it. He sees no harm in snagging some extra heart beets he knows grows near by in order to replenish his crops.

Phosphor slimes are already beginning to pop out of the ground on his way out and by the time he's heading back with his handful of beets, they're in heavy supply. They light the area with a soft glow from their blinking lights but it doesn’t offer much in the way of seeing. Ryan makes it all the way home before he realises one of them is following him. It's much bigger than the usual slime but it's not a largo. It's just a really big Phosphor slime. Are they supposed to get this big? Ryan really hasn't been a rancher long enough to be able to tell.

The thing bumps against him harmlessly and Ryan realises it must be hungry. He keeps a few Phosphor slimes on his ranch and sure enough, the large red stain on the back of his shirt is probably why this thing is following him; he smells like it's favorite food. Ryan pops a cuberry out of his vac and the giant Phosphor blinks ecstatically at him. Gladly, it eats it right out of his hand and beams brightly afterward. It doesn’t, however, spit out any plorts in return making it kind of a waste.

It's still hungry and Ryan guesses he has enough cuberries on hand to give it a few. After all, it did bother following him all the way home. Ryan gives it a second and a third when it's still not sated. After a handful more, it happily flutters into the air and promptly fucks off. No wonder it's so big. Not quite sure what to make of this oddity, Ryan just continues on his day. He tosses a heart beet into his crop and returns to his home for the night.

II.

A few days later, the giant Phosphor slime returns and this time it isn't alone. With it is a second giant Phosphor slime. Where are these things coming from? Are there just a bunch of giant Phosphors out there somewhere? Ryan can't really tell one from the other at a distance but they both flutter towards him excitedly in the night air. Usually he's in bed before this, perhaps they've been waiting for him to show up after nightfall? They blink at him energetically.

Sure enough, Ryan is positive one of these is the same slime. It's face just seems- bigger? It's almost as if it has a nose. The other sports a bit more of a lackadaisical expression. They both bump against him pushily and nearly knock him over with their combined sizes. Ryan pushes them away from him a bit as to not get overwhelmed by the pair of them.

“Alright, alright,” he insists. “I fed a stray and this is what I get, I know.” He tosses out a few cuberries for them and they both munch away happily. Still no plorts. Maybe that's why they're so big? The first one is sated with a few but the other turns back to Ryan in hopes of more. Jeez, they're going to eat his entire crop at this rate. He gives it a few more and when they're both finally full, they bump up against him affectionately.

“Whoa, whoa, easy,” Ryan laughs a little. “You're gonna hurt me.” These obviously aren't normal slimes. They flash their lights contently and flutter around him like they're dancing. It seems they plan on sticking around a while or at least for the night. The new one examines the end of his vac curiously and Ryan gives it a gentle pulse to get it away. While he doesn’t think it _can_ eat his vacpack, Ryan doesn’t want to risk it. It blinks in an annoyed fashion, obviously having not appreciated that. He chuckles.

“Well then, you look like a Blinkie, don't you?” Ryan suggests, patting the slime fondly between its two antenna.

“My name's Ray,” it scoffs back. Ryan stops. It talks? Slimes don't talk.

“I'm Gavin!” the other agrees gladly.

“You- why do you talk?” Ryan rambles out. He's only been a rancher for a few weeks! Surely he's not that lonely yet.

“Why do you talk?” Ray replies blandly, blinking away as a Phosphor slime should. What they shouldn't be doing is talking! Without much warning, they change. From largo like slimes, they morph into human shapes. Ryan jolts back a bit and the pair of them flutter above him. That's never happened before! Is that supposed to happen?

“You're nice for a human,” Gavin insists. Their ‘human’ shapes are definitely weird mostly because they're still obviously made of slime and still blink with an internal light- and not much else. They're almost completely translucent and Ryan can see right through them with no signs of any kind of internal organs or anything else for that manner. How?

“Yeah, most humans try to toss us into the ocean,” Ray agrees. Ryan is too baffled to reply. The slimes are talking. They look like humans and they're talking. He reaches out tentatively to touch Ray again and it lets him. It still has a firm outside, like most slimes do, but he can put his hand right through him- also like most slimes. They're definitely slimes. Are all slimes like this?

“Uh, do you have a name?” Gavin asks.

“Dude, get your hand outta me maybe?” Ray scoffs. Ryan hurriedly yanks back. He is just startled is all. This is amazing.

“Ryan. My name's Ryan,” he introduces himself.

“Hey Ryan!” Gavin chirps happily. “We live here now!”

“You what?” Ryan murmurs incredulously.

“You got food,” Ray says. “We live here now.”

Give a slime a cuberry and it wants to stay forever.

III.

While Gavin and Ray don't shit out plorts like other slimes do, they are still useful around the ranch. They're basically another set of hands as long as he doesn't put cuberries in those hands. Between the two of them, they will eat all of his crop. They are smart, though, and if Ryan gives them more than they can eat, they'll try to plant some more. That means Ryan has to be careful to not end up with more cuberry bushes than he knows what to do with. Otherwise, they help him harvest everything else and keep the rest of his slimes well fed.

However, they are restricted to only coming out at night. The sun burns them up too quickly otherwise. At first they were sleeping in the ground but Ryan has since allowed them to sleep in his home with the windows shut. Until he can get the grotto in shape, it's the best place for them. He's just gotten used to having the two oversized slimes napping in his bed during the day by now.

Ryan has learned that slime people definitely do exist and people have seen them but apparently they're very shy and tend to avoid human contact. Why two of them have decided to make themselves at home on his ranch Ryan has no idea. Unfortunately, no one knows much about them except that they might be intelligent and are likely not much different than their slime counterparts. So far, this holds to be true. Very true.

While Ryan is out collecting wild chickens one day, a particularly large Tabby slime steals his hat right off his head. Tabby slimes like to make off with all sorts of stuff and Ryan has lost a fair amount of plorts to them running off with them or just plain eating them so this isn't surprising. It catches him off guard though and automatically he sucks the Tabby back towards him. Immediately, it lets out a startled yowl of a noise and Ryan panic drops it. Slimes typically don't scream like that.

Urgently, the Tabby slime runs off to hide behind a rock. Ryan picks his hat back up and fixes it back on his head. He feels a little bad about that. Obviously he wasn't planning on hurting it but he sees how it could think that. He likes this hat. In order to soothe it a little, Ryan pops a stony chicken from his pack, a Tabby favorite. Sure enough, when he begins to walk towards the oversized slime, it watches him unsurely but loves it's favorite food too much to bolt. Carefully, he offers it to the Tabby and it gladly gobbles the chicken up whole. It doesn’t drop any plorts.

Another slime person? It shows all the signs but could there really be another one around here? As far as Ryan knows, slime people are typically only seen maybe once by a person and if not, very far apart. Perhaps this really is just a pudgy slime. It looks up at him curiously, waving its tail in hopes of getting another chicken. Ryan really doesn't have many stony chickens to spare right now. He's trying to breed them in preparation to take on a corral of Tabby slimes but they're much slower breeders than Hen Hens. Still, it looks at him so eagerly like it's just absolutely starving and Ryan gives in.

He gives it another stony and then quickly goes on his way to continue his collection of wild chickadoos before the wild slimes get to them. The Tabby slime follows him. And follows him. And still follows him. It's never more than a few feet from him at any given moment for the rest of the day, bouncing along even at Ryan’s fastest pace. This was a mistake. It bullies the other slimes while he works on other stuff; pushing them off cliffs, dropping plorts into the water, snatching up food it isn't interested in eating. Typical Tabby stuff.

When Ryan is finally on his way back home, the Tabby gladly follows him. Well, he's not sure what to do with it now. He doesn’t want to leave it roaming around his ranch overnight in case it eats all his chickens but he doesn't think it'll be too happy if he tries to pick it up again. It just bobs happily in front of him, swishing its tail contently the entire time. He gives it another stony in hopes that it'll fuck off once it's full but it doesn’t seem interested in eating anymore at the moment. It just likes him. Okay.

“Ryan!” Gavin calls as the two of them finally buzz out of the house.

“Ryan!” Ray echoes. “Food pls.”

“Oh, hey Lindsay,” Gavin hums pleasantly, hopping onto the Tabby slime and blinking away fondly. It is another slime person.

“Hey Gav,” Lindsay chirps back. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We live here,” Ray assures simply and the three of them bounce with one another happily. They're quick to return to Ryan for food though. Their appetites are always more important. Ryan tosses them their daily cuberries and they glow contently as they munch. He turns back to Lindsay curiously.

“Do you want me to show you home or something?” he offers.

“I live here now!” Lindsay assures with a pleasant purr. Of course it does. Why would Ryan think otherwise.

“Right. Well, make yourself at home, then I guess.”

IV.

Lindsay takes to following him around most places. Unlike Gavin and Ray, she can wander around during the day without any ill consequences and she gladly does. Ryan doesn’t mind so much, he's just worried something might happen to her. This is, largely, an unnecessary thought. She hops in and out of the sea without a care, continues to bully other slimes, and is strangely unaffected by Tarrs. In fact, he's found out, in coming in contact with a Tarr, the Tarr almost always loses. The rest of the time Lindsay simply ignores it.

Ryan isn’t sure why this is, actually. Perhaps she's just too big for the monster or maybe slime people really are made up differently from normal slimes. All the same, he's happy she can stay safe. She's kind of helpful, too. Though she's typically restricted to only carrying one thing at a time, she's very good at getting plorts away from the slimes that want to eat them. This means more wild plorts for Ryan and less chances of Tarrs forming. She's always happy to carry home the occasional crate as well, freeing up Ryan’s hands for other stuff.

Sometimes though, Lindsay just likes to nap. While she's taken to sleeping in his house like Gavin and Ray have, she's also more than content with plopping herself down in the sun and snoozing away the afternoon. Ryan goes out without her; she's perfectly safe on the ranch. Likewise, his chickens are perfectly safe with high walls.

Having already been out on his scout earlier, Ryan’s just looking for some slimes to trade in over the exchange. A few pink slimes and a few rock slimes and he should be good to go. At first, Ryan doesn’t even notice it but the sun catches it rather harshly and nearly blinds him. That is a really big Gold slime. It munches on a patch of wild carrots without a care, keeping the other slimes away with its size alone.

Ryan really has no interest in it. He's found gold slimes to be more trouble than they're worth and honestly, it's usually more worthwhile to carry anything else than a single gold plort. If he doesn't have anything else, he'll wait around and see if it naturally drops some but otherwise, it's not really worth it. They are nice to watch, though.

Rather abruptly, the Gold slime spots him and freezes up in panic. Ryan doesn’t move and after a few seconds, it bobs curiously and moves a bit closer as if trying to tell what Ryan is. It won't risk getting any closer but it watches him for a few moments before returning to it's carrot patch, obviously not seeing Ryan as much of a threat. Very carefully, Ryan decides to go around it and continues his way further down into the Reef to gather some rock slimes.

By the time he's heading back, the Gold slime has gone and seemingly hasn’t left any plorts behind. The other slimes don't eat them so perhaps it wasn't eating after all. Ryan doesn’t worry about it too much.

V.

With Gavin and Ray helping take care of his farm at night and Lindsay helping during the day, Ryan has found he has lots of time for other things. It's kind of nice to have most of his crops harvested by the time he gets up in the morning and not have to worry about a Tarr outbreak while he's gone during the day. Between a few cuberries and some stony hens, it's worth it to have them around. Besides, they make it less lonely to be out on the ranch and Ryan has become rather fond of them.

They're really not much different from people, at least socially wise. Obviously they're still made completely of slime but besides that, they chat and and amuse themselves and compromise and everything. It's quite incredible, really. Ryan’s not sure how he feels about sharing this information with other people but he feels the slime people avoid humans so much for a reason. Hell, Ryan avoids other humans for a reason. The same reason he's living out on a slime ranch alone actually.

Not having to worry too much about his ranch, Ryan heads out for the day. He had found a key rather early on that he now knows leads to the Moss Blanket and he's finally going to check it out. It's a bit of a walk there but it should be worth it to find some different kinds of slimes. Honey plorts have been going for a good price lately. A quick jot through the Dry Reef makes it easy to avoid any unintentional Tarrs that naturally form as the day progresses.

When he gets to the rickety old bridge, he slows down a little. It’s a narrow path to travel and the Slime Sea is very deep and very dense. Ryan doesn’t know if he can swim in it and doesn’t want to find out. As far as he knows, however, it holds up fairly well. Carefully, he makes his way across it and to the massive stone door that separates him from the other part of the island. Apparently these are here to prevent ranchers from potentially wandering into dangerous territory before they know what they’re doing.

Ryan slots the key in where it fits nicely and curiously peeks around when the door gradually opens. He can already tell it’s much more green here than in the Dry Reef. With some careful curiosity and an empty vac, he begins his exploration of the Moss Blanket. Sure enough, Honey slimes are in great numbers here and with them, their favorite food. Ryan is sure to vac both them and a few Mint Mangos up before they begin their daily habits of doubling in size and devouring everything.

Needless to say, he’s a little surprised when one of them gets stuck in his vac. Ryan shakes it loose and tries to suck it in again but still, the little Honey slime is just too pudgy to fit in his vac. It doesn’t seem too bothered by Ryan though, or too bothered by getting vacuumed up, simply bobbing pleasantly and enjoying itself. Upon closer examination, it’s definitely a largo. It’s a bit small for a largo, kind of like Ray or Gavin, but rather seems more round than tall. It looks up at him curiously.

“Are you- a person?” Ryan asks. It blinks. He’s not sure if that’s a ‘no’. Most slime people take off if they spot a rancher or even other people around, so maybe, once again, this is just a big slime. There is one way to find out. Ryan pops a Mint Mango out of his vac and offers it to the slime politely. Sure enough, it gladly gulps it down and beams happily. No plorts. It’s definitely a slime person. Well Ryan’s definitely not going to make it reveal itself to him so perhaps it’s for the best that it doesn’t seem interested in him.

As hardy as slime people are, it seems a little dangerous down here for such a small guy especially when all the other slimes _really_ like Honey slimes. Ryan picks up the slime person with his vac and carefully places him up on a higher ledge to put him out of harm's way. The Honey slime looks down at him curiously before grinning and bobbing happily. Ryan tosses it another Mint Mango and then he’s on his way to finish up what he came here to do.

The slime people have been good to him and Ryan sees no reason not to return the favor. They’re harmless little things and it seems like they greatly help maintain the slime population. As far as he knows, they’re really the only natural predator to Tarrs and their human shapes make it possible for them to do, well, human things. Like create an island complete with complex tunnels, plateaus, and plenty of food sources.

Besides, Ryan has come to take a liking to the slimes both people and wild. He supposes that’s why he came out here to become a slime rancher in the first place.

VI.

Ryan returns to the Moss Blanket only once in awhile. It’s a bit of a trip and it’s an even longer journey through the Blanket to get back to the teleport home. However, it’s also currently the only place to find Boom slimes and they’re much too dangerous to keep on his farm so Ryan takes a daytrip out one nice afternoon to go hunting for wild boom plorts. He likes to keep a bunch on hand for when the market is good for them.

Lindsay trails him to the edge of the Dry Reef where she is easily distracted by chasing down wild chickens instead. Ryan goes on ahead knowing she’ll catch up with him eventually. As he hops into the opening that slides down, he gets his foot tangled in a vine and immediately ends up upside down and disoriented. This is made twice as so when he gets down to the bottom only to discover something very big blocking the path. Ryan pushes himself up curiously, trying not to step on the slime suddenly blocking the way into the Moss Blanket.

It’s a Honey slime. It’s too small to be a gordo but still more than large enough to prevent Ryan from passing or moving it. This is a particular problem because he can not climb back up the way he came. The Honey slime seems completely uncaring to him, simply sitting unmoving even as Ryan is trying his best not to be mushed against its backside. He tries to give it a deterring pulse but it’s so big, it just doesn’t care. Ryan’s not sure if it even notices him. Why has a slime decided to settle itself here of all places?

This is a bit of a problem. Ryan hasn’t brought anything with him in order to be able to bring as much back as possible meaning he has nothing to try to tempt the Honey slime out of the way with- or anything else. Without really having any other choice, he tries to wriggle himself out between it and the side of the cave. The Honey slime has some give to it but it’s very hard to pass by it without passing _through_ it.

“Jack!” a voice chirps happily. The Honey slime blocking the path moves and when it does, Ryan immediately takes a tumble to the floor. Disoriented, he blinks as he sits back up. The large Honey slime looks down at him curiously as if to wonder where he came from. It hadn’t noticed him at all. Ryan’s going to smell like honey all day now. That’s only a bad thing because it means all the other slimes are going to follow him around and _that’s_ only a bad thing because this area is very heavy with Boom slimes.

“It’s the human,” a smaller Honey slime says. Ryan recognises it from before, the Honey slime just a little too big to be vacuumed up and vaguely pancake looking. If pancakes were huge and gelatinous. The larger Honey slime glances back at the tunnel it was blocking before looking down at him again. “You must’a been blocking the path.”

“I didn’t know that was a path,” the bigger one, Jack, comments. Ryan picks himself up and brushes himself off, looking at the pair of slime people curiously.

“Hello again,” he murmurs. “Uh. I’ll be on my way, then.” Now that it’s out of the way, there’s really nothing Ryan needs from either of them and he doubts he has anything they want mostly because he doesn’t have anything. This, of course, is not the case. Both of them follow him. He’s not sure why slime people have such an affinity for him but it’s rather unusual and a little concerning. As he treads through the Blanket picking up wild plorts, the two Honey slimes stop to eat here and there. The bigger one keeps all the wild slimes away while the little one eats and then the bigger one eats whatever’s left over.

By the time Ryan reaches the end of the Blanket and the teleporter back home, both slime people seem to be more than content with the amount of fruit they’ve inhaled. The two of them just watch him, bobbing around as slimes are prone to do, but don’t suggest that they want anything from him. Perhaps they just like keeping him company? Or at the very least, like seeing what he’s doing. Ryan isn’t quite sure where Lindsay has gone but she knows her way home.

Not sure what else to do, Ryan just gives them a simple wave goodbye before stepping on the teleport back. He only gets a handful of steps away from the thing before he hears something else come through it. At this point, he really wasn’t expecting anything else. Ryan glances over his shoulder mildly only to discover what he already figured; the little Honey slime has teleported through. It hops off the pad and immediately after, the bigger Honey slime comes through as well. The two of them look at each other before looking back at Ryan and then around the ranch.

“That’s a one way teleport,” Ryan murmurs. The two of them look back at the pad. “Do I need to take you back home?” They beam at him happily but before either of them can say anything, Ryan does. “Let me guess, you live here now?”

“Yeah!” the smaller one agrees. “It’s nice here!”

“It is pretty nice,” the bigger one confirms. “We’ll stay.”

“Right,” Ryan replies. “Well, I’m Ryan I guess. What are your names?”

“I’m Jeremy!” the little Honey slime says cheerily.

“I’m Jack!” the bigger Honey slime hums happily.

“You’re not gonna fit in my house,” Ryan comments, gesturing to his little home already rather small for the amount of slimes currently trying to occupy it. Jeremy looks up at Jack for a moment before grinning at Ryan again.

“Not a problem! We can fix that!” he promises. Ryan doesn’t like the sound of that. Hopefully they don’t ruin his house. It’ll be a pain to get someone out here to fix it.

“Alright,” he says unsurely. “Make yourselves at home, then.”

VII.

Jack decreases in size overnight and come morning, he's about the same size as the other slime people. Ryan isn't sure how but Jack does leave a pile of plorts behind. At least, Ryan thinks they're plorts. They're softer and squishier than he's used to, not to mention rounder, but he throws them in the plort market and gets newbucks in return so he doesn't think about it too hard. It seems slime people drop plorts after all. Ryan still isn't sure how or what needs to happen before they do, though. He also supposes it's not that important.

Much like Lindsay, Jeremy and Jack gladly hang around his farm all day and lend a hand keeping everything in order. Unlike Ray and Gavin who seem to have endless appetites, the two Honey slimes only require a few mangos a day and don't try to eat his entire mango tree. Between the five of them, Ryan gets a lot of work done daily and in return, ends up making much more profit than expected. This means he can get the Grotto fixed up sooner than anticipated.

Having a dark place to hang around in during the day makes Gavin and Ray very pleased especially because this means they can play with their buddies all day instead of being forced inside the house by the sun. With plenty more room now, Ryan thinks he's ready to take on a few Boom slimes. It should be fairly safe to keep three or four of them in the Grotto as long as he's careful.

It's good timing to. When Ryan heads out towards the Blanket again, he's surprised to find a cave has appeared in the Dry Reef. That certainly wasn't there before. Curious all the same, Ryan wanders in to see what sort of slimes might live inside. He pacifies the ferals hanging around just inside the entrance with some food and they allow him to pass unharmed. Usually feral slimes mark something interesting further on. There's several feral Phosphor slimes at night on the way to the Moss Blanket and an entire trench of feral rock slimes had guarded a gordo Phosphor slime at one point.

Interestingly enough, the cave seems to lead to an entire other section of the island. This is marked by another massive stone door that Ryan opens with the other key he got from said gordo Phosphor slime. How curious; there's an entire quarry down here. Ryan is more than happy to forget about his trip to get Boom slimes in favor of exploring the quarry further. It's very dark in the caves and there are a lot of cliffs outside. He has to be careful not to accidently wander off and more importantly, not get blown off by the sheer amount of Boom slimes that live here.

There's even more Boom slimes here than in the Moss Blanket. Ryan vacuums up a few of them to take home with him. Has this place always been here? Perhaps a stray Boom slimes covered the entrance up by mistake and perhaps another also accidentally uncovered it. They're so volatile, it's very easy for them to destroy things and even hurt themselves in the process.

Much like the large Boom slime that seems to have gotten itself wedged under some old scaffolding. It looks angry and tired and hungry but none the less continues to explode at close intervals. Ryan isn't sure if he can get close to it without getting hurt but he doesn't want to leave it trapped here, either. It's pretty rare that something like this happens, slimes are so squishy and rubbery they really don't get stuck anywhere, but this one has obviously run into a bit of bad luck.

In an attempt to ease it, Ryan tosses it a Briar Hen. For a moment, it stops struggling and looks at him then the chicken. Too hungry to ignore it, it hungrily gobbles the chicken up and calms down at least a little but. Ryan tosses it another and it gladly eats this one as well. It's a good thing there's tons of Briar Hens around here. Now that it's relaxed a little, the frequency of its explosions have slowed. It's still going to be dangerous to stand close to it for too long.

Ryan is a rancher, though, and dealing with Boom slimes is sort of what he signed up for. He rolls his sleeves up and preps his vacpack to try to help the slime get free. Unfortunately the scaffolding is pretty heavy making it impossible for Ryan to just suck the slime free. He waits for its next explosion, the poor thing dizzying itself in the aftermath, and then quickly hurries forward to heave some of the wood up. It's actually extremely heavy and Ryan finds he can’t lift it more than a few inches but this seems to be more than enough to let the Boom slime urgently jolt out.

As soon as it's free, it jumps at him, perhaps wanting to thank him, but instead it just explodes and knocks him off his feet. Well, at least it's not hurt. Ryan coughs up a bit of soot and wipes the stuff off his face before looking back at the thing trying to collect itself again after that last explosion. He sees why it got stuck, it's much bigger than a normal Boom slime. He knows the deal now.

“I'm Ryan,” he introduces himself. The Boom slime stares at him wearily for a few moments and Ryan wonders if this one isn't going to immediately like him like the others did. He still has no idea why they are so fixated with him. Does he just smell nice to them?

“I'm Michael,” it replies cautiously. “Thanks for helping me out.”

“No problem,“ Ryan assures, pushing himself to his feet and brushing himself off.

“Sorry about the exploding thing,” Michael murmurs begrudgingly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ryan replies. It's a Boom slime, that's what they do. “I have some slime people living on my ranch with me. Would you, uh, like to live there now?” Michael watches him for a moment, perhaps trying to tell if he’s lying, before bobbing gently.

“Yes,” it says quietly. “Thanks.”

“Come on, then. Try not to knock me off the edge if you can.”

VIII.

The warm summer nights are nice around here and every so often, it's nice to be able to just sit and relax for a bit. The slime people hop around his corrals and farms plots playing a friendly game of keep away with a disgruntled elder roostro- a game that will undoubtedly end when either Lindsay or Michael swallow the thing whole. Normally Ryan would join them but it's been a bit of a week and he is simply too tired. Instead, he is fine just relaxing on his porch and enjoying his pogofruit.

The dim farm is lit up faintly by the stray Phosphor slimes that buzz around. With the slime people living here now, wild slimes tend to wander into his farm far more often than before. Ryan has since taken some precautions to prevent them from gobbling up all his feed. A few high walls and some scareslimes do the trick. In the morning, Lindsay, Jack, and Jeremy usually chase and toss the loitering slimes off into the sea where they float off to wherever slimes go.

Honestly, Ryan is happy with his little slime family. They're odd, sure, but so is he really. He didn’t think he'd like the company, he rarely does, but the slime people don't bother him. This is probably because they're slime and not people. Plus, it's interesting to watch them and learn more about them day by day. Even now, a person wouldn't think slimes are particularly fast or nimble but this proves untrue especially when they're after food.

Gavin sits perched on Jack's head, every so often using his tiny little wings to lift them both off the ground, and on the other side, Ray sits on Jeremy doing much the same. Lindsay is already a well known jumper, sometimes even getting herself trapped in the high walled corrals by mistake, and that still proves to be true. She hops up each time the roostro urgently flaps by in an attempt to get to it but she's having trouble getting her mouth up that far. Michael is much more grounded. Instead, he chases after Jack and Jeremy in hopes of getting them to drop the roostro instead. When he gets too close, though, Ray and Gavin just flutter away.

They're having fun and everyone's enjoying themselves. Ryan's glad.

Out of the blue, a slime approaches him. At first, Ryan assumes it's one of the Phosphors hanging around but when he turns towards it, that's not the case. It's a Gold slime. Wow it's a really big Gold slime. Ryan freezes up automatically, trying not to startle it, and it curiously wanders closer to him. It looks at the half eaten pogofruit in his hand and then at him expectedly. Ah, it wants something to eat, of course. Carefully, Ryan holds the fruit out and the Gold slime gladly eats it out of his hand. It bobs happily and Ryan reaches into his basket to hand it another one.

This must be the giant Goldy he saw awhile back. It most certainly is a slime person. Apparently any kind of slime can be a person. He supposes that makes as much sense as slime people do to begin with. The Gold slime gladly eats several more fruits before having its fill. Ryan expects it to take off as Gold slimes naturally do but this one doesn't. It just sits with him on the porch and curiously watches the others play.

“Oh!” Gavin yelps, suddenly losing his concentration and causing both him and Jack to take a tumble. Lindsay hops into action immediately, lunging at the roostro on the ground and gobbling it up in a single bite. Michael jumps at her unhappily but she just loudly purrs. Gavin pops back up and hurriedly flutters towards Ryan to greet his new gold friend.

“Geoff!” Gavin beeps gladly. “There you are!”

“Hey buddy,” Geoff replies with a lazy grin. “Here I am.”

“I was wondering where you got off to,” Jack comments. “I haven't seen you in a while.” All the slime people around here seem to know each other pretty well.

“You know, hanging around, eatin’ food, drinkin’ booze,” Geoff assures. “Same ol’ same ol’.” They others come to join them around the porch, all bobbing contently and bumping against each other in greeting and affection. Ryan tries to stay out of the way so they don't squish him.

“Well, we live here with Ryan now,” Jeremy says gladly.

“Ryan's the nice human!” Lindsay chirps. “I love him!” Oh. Well.

“I love him more!” Michael barks. Lindsay jumps into him, knocking Michael onto his side and making him irritably explode.

“I love him more!” she insists, bullying Michael by constantly bumping him sideways despite him stubbornly fighting back. It seems playful at least; they do this a lot.

“I love Ryan, too!” Gavin agrees, pushing himself gladly against Ryan’s back.

“Same!” Ray adds in, hopping up on Gavin to also nuzzle Ryan. They both blink energetically. Jeremy lunges at them, causing the two of them to take a tumble, and nuzzles Ryan instead.

“I love you!” he assures gladly.

“I love you, too!” Jack says, trying to hop into his lap. Ryan is getting a little overwhelmed with slime here.

“G-guys,” he murmurs unsurely as they crowd around him and possibly literally try to smother him with affection. “I love you guys, too! Please love me one at a time, though!” Sitting was a bad idea! Fortunately, Michael manages to get himself to the bottom of the pile before Ryan drowns a slime loving death. His sudden explosion knocks everyone away, including himself, and sends them flying across the ranch. Well then.

Ryan laughs a little as he sits up again. That was certainly something. Geoff looks at him curiously for a moment, seemingly sizing him up, before bobbing approvingly.

“I live here now,” he says. Yeah, Ryan saw that coming. “I love you.” That not so much.

IX.

Sometimes, Ryan just gets too overwhelmed. It's one of the main reasons he came out to this ranch alone. Back home, all the people and work and responsibilities stressed him out so much he was having breakdowns every couple days if not more. It was so exhausting, he could barely function most of the time. When slime ranching became a reasonable and affordable idea, Ryan jumped on it without a second thought.

Today though, it’s just too much. Even out here in isolation with hardly a thing to worry about, Ryan just feels awful. He hates this. He came out here so he wouldn’t have to feel like this. Ryan tries to wipe the tears from his eyes but they won’t stop and it only causes him to cry more. He doesn’t even have anything to be sad about. Why is he like this?

Something falls in his lap and Ryan sniffles a little as he looks down at it. It’s- a tamagotchi? He hasn’t seen one of these in years. Ryan picks it up curiously and then looks down to Ray staring back up at him. What is he supposed to do with this?

“Hey man,” Ray murmurs softly. “Don’t be sad. This is my favorite game, yeah? It makes me feel better.” Oh. Ryan rubs his eyes again and laughs a little.

“Thank you, Ray,” he says and he gently pats the lad between his antenna. “I feel better already.”

“Here,” Gavin insists, hopping over with a basket balanced on his head. “Cuberries always make me feel better.” He dumps them into Ryan’s lap unceremoniously and grins up at him carefully as if worried about upsetting him further. Unfortunately, this does anyways. Ryan tries to withhold, sniffling sadly, but the tears just keep coming. How is it that slime people have been the nicest people to him in years? Lindsay hops up onto his bed and nuzzles his back affectionately, purring up a storm as if to comfort him. She drops her yarn ball in his lap and flicks her tail happily.

“Yarn makes me feel better,” she promises. “Please don’t be sad.”

“Humans like these, right?” Geoff says as he drops a gold plort in Ryan’s lap. “There. Feel better yet?”

“Honey, too, right?” Jack agrees, placing several more honey plorts in his lap as well. “Slimes like honey. Everyone likes honey.” Michael pushes his way between the other slimes, hopping up on Jack’s head to drop his radio in the pile forming in Ryan’s lap.

“You gave me this to feel better but obviously you need it way more right now,” he assures. They don’t even know anything about him. Why do they care so much? He’s just a rancher that they decided, for no reason, to attach themselves to. Gently, Jeremy hugs him.

“Hugs help, too,” he murmurs, “Is this helping?” This, of course, causes them all to move in to hug him as well, mushing themselves against each other as best they can and nuzzling him affectionately. Ryan lets out a shaky breath, wrapping his arms around them to the degree that he can.

“Yeah, that’s helping,” he promises. “You’re all helping. Thank you.” It’s true. Nothing really helps when he starts feeling this way, he just has to bare through it, but it’s always a little bit easier to bare when he’s not alone. No, that’s not true. It’s always easier when someone who cares and loves him is around. “You know I love you all very much, don’t you?”

“Of course!” Lindsay assures.

“We love you, too, Ryan!” Gavin replies gladly.

“You’re such a brave human, Ryan,” Jack says.

“You’re gonna be okay, buddy,” Geoff promises. “We’re here with ya.”

“Yeah man, we can sit around all day with you until you feel better,” Ray murmurs.

“I’m fucking not,” Michael scoffs. “Someone’s gotta take care of the ranch.” The slime people all whisper to each other quietly for a moment before nodding agreeably.

“Right, we’ll take care of the other slimes then sit with you all day,” Geoff announces. Ryan offers a small laugh, petting whichever heads he can make out in the mass of slime surrounding him.

“It’s okay,” he assures. “I think I can manage. Thank you for worrying about me, though. I- I really appreciate it.” They all make pleased noises of agreement, purrs and murmurs as they nuzzle him a little more just to assure he really is okay. He’s not but he thinks he can make it through the day now.


End file.
